


Stay For The Night and Forever

by Ult_Geek



Category: A.C.E (Beat Interactive Band)
Genre: Angst, Confessions, Crying, Dreaming, Feels, Fluff and Angst, I spell Wow's names as Sehyoon, Lots of Crying, M/M, Sleepless, The just love each other!(in the fanfic), They're tired, WowKwan forever, Wowson - Freeform, wowkwan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-15
Updated: 2018-07-15
Packaged: 2019-06-10 16:47:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15295824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ult_Geek/pseuds/Ult_Geek
Summary: Byeongkwan was alone in that place between sleep and waking.In that land between the darkest shades of the night and twilight, he dared to dream of something he knew he could never have. Or at least, he thought he could never have it.





	Stay For The Night and Forever

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! Back with another fic. I wrote this before "My Far Away Place" but I kinda forgot about it? So now I edited this thing and am posting it. This is actually my first fanfic based on real people.
> 
> The title's inspired(ripped off) from Sleeping With Sirens- "If I'm James Dean, Then you're Audrey Hepburn". When writing this, the song was nowhere in my mind, but after reading the lyrics to that song, I realized how similar they were.
> 
> So here we are. 
> 
> I hope you like it!

Some things were obvious.

Sehyoon and Byeongkwan shared the same room. Byeongkwan would always sit on Sehyoon’s lap, Sehyoon would only ever lie on Byeongkwan’s shoulder. The two would hold hands when the situation did not allow for a hug or anything more intimate.

If the managers or the members wanted to find one, they must first find the other.

No one cared about these things.

This was them. Their relationship worked based on these things.

Neither were good at words, so they relied on physical contact. If Plan ’A’ doesn’t work, you switch to Plan ’B’. Simple.

But too often, the obvious could get so strange, and yet no one questioned it.

Byeongkwan would find his gaze lingering on Sehyoon’s frame a little longer. His fingers were reluctant to let go of the other. His hands and body remembered the all-encompassing warmth of the boy when they hugged or cuddled. The laughter that left the older’s lips enchanted the younger like a siren song. His words lead him into an unsolvable maze of feelings he wished he could explain. 

They knew secrets about each other the rest did not. Well-kept, personal things that established the immovable basement to their little world where they escaped to when their eyes met, when things got tough.

All this and more, and Byeongkwan was terrified.

This was never good, this was never right. Members could get close, they could get touchy but they didn’t do it with thinly veiled feelings of utter adoration and love. He remembered all those nights when Sehyoon would crawl into his bed because his thoughts got too much. He remembered those early mornings on the terrace of their dorm, staring at the quiet world that existed just for their enjoyment.

Why is it, he wondered, that the world seemed to be something that could be completely owned in the presence of the older?

Obviously, not everything was easy and beautiful in their relationship.

Like every relationship, they had their fights but those never lasted long. One of the two would confront the other and apologize or explain their stand. They would talk, solve it and go back to the way things were.  
Things could break but they would never leave each other. 

He let’s himself snuggle into Sehyoon’s chest, allows himself to touch him and look at him with those eyes because the others don’t stop him. 

Neither does Sehyoon.

Byeongkwan desperately wanted the boy to do something. He wanted the older to withdraw his hand, wanted him to reject the hugs and cuddles. He wanted him to say, ’sorry, no’ when he made ridiculous excuses to sleep in the same bed as him. No, the older holds on for as long as the younger wants, he makes space for Byeongkwan and readily lifts up his blankets for the younger to crawl into.  
Byeongkwan wondered what a life without Sehyoon would be like. It was impossible to imagine any longer. No matter what, the other had to be there. Even if they disband, even if they go their separate ways, after they get married, have kids and grow old.

Sehyoon had to be there.

’Stop. Stop thinking’

Thoughts flooded his mind in the darkness of the now closed dance studio they practiced in.

Sehyoon was lying on his chest, eyes closed, hair messy and a hand around him. He looked peaceful.  
The day was exhausting and long with practice. Blisters had formed on their feet. Shoes and socks lay abandoned at the corner of the room the moment practice ended. 

Only the two remained.

Byeongkwan reached for his phone lying beside him to check the time. It was four in the morning.

’Too early…….. or too late…………..Whatever’

He let his head fall back onto his duffel bag which served as his pillow.There was no point trying to get back to the dorms to sleep. Too much time, too little energy. There was also the fact that he would have to wake Sehyoon up if he wanted to leave. So, he decided to close his yes and tried to drift back into dreamland but it proved to be difficult. 

He quit. 

If sleep didn’t come, and neither did waking, then floating was the only option. What was the point of questioning it? The realm between awareness and dreams was blissful. There was no fear of it all being an illusion and no troubles from reality to hinder his existence.

The coolness of the air conditioner, the ache in his body that comfortably held him down in that blissful state and the weight of the older boy. It all felt good. A blanket enveloped the two, bringing more warmth.

’They must have left it here. Idiots’ he smiled(he doesn’t really know), ’should’ve woken us up and gotten us to bed’

His hand moved gently through Sehyoon’s hair, caressing the now black strands. The bleaching and dyes had done a number on all their hairs. Sehyoon’s grip tightened ever so slightly and Byeongkwan continued to brush through his hair. There were no signs of him waking up. 

It was a miracle the stylists made their hair look smooth and soft. In reality, it was coarse and brittle, like straw. Sehyoon had it worst. It was sad seeing him sit in the salon chair for hours, trying to stay awake the entire time, though the hectic schedules settled heavily on his shoulders.

At such times, Byeongkwan wished they weren’t idols.

(He was floating, he could dream whatever he wanted)

He wondered, what it would be like, to be awake at a more reasonable hour in the morning, in another world. A soft bed underneath the two and a thick blanket on top, Sehyoon would be holding him, and they would be together in that realm where humans can float. Sehyoon would flutter open his eyes and yawn, moving up from Byeongkwan’s chest to his face. Noses touching and eyes closed, he would shift to sit on Byeongkwan’s lap, hands circling the younger’s shoulders………and he would just………breathe. No schedules, no practices, nothing.

Byeongkwan would sit upright and pull him closer, foreheads pressed against each other. He would move to kiss that juncture between his neck and shoulder and travel slowly up to his face, leaving a trail of gentle kisses.

Sehyoon’s lips would part, peaceful and refreshed but sleep still holding him as close as the other boy. The younger would smile against the the other’s cheek and move to his lips. 

Eyes closed, they would melt into the contact, languid and soft. They would kiss for hours. Their breath, warmth and each other the only things they could feel. Like the universe was made for the unquestionable bliss of getting lost in each other.

Byeongkwan was terrified. Terrified of his thoughts and the control Sehyoon had over him. The older could ask him to jump into lava and he honestly thinks he would.

“I’m scared………of you”, his eyes were open

“………….of me” he continued.

“I love you” he said. He said those damned words he had bottled up for years, his hand was still carding through the older’s hair. It helped make the illusion feel more real.

Then. It happened.

He felt it before he saw it.

The laxness in the older’s hold left and it was replaced with uncertain stiffness the moment those precious words had left his mouth.  
Byeongkwan was lost.

He fell.

Sehyoon was awake.

Daydreams long forgotten his mind raced to come up with an explanation, ’it wasn’t for you, it was for…..’. He had no one to use as an excuse, he barely met girls in the past few years. Training, debuting and working was all that mattered. An ex-lover could be a good excuse but he had already told Sehyoon about his exes in the most boring and uninterested way possible. 

Hell, he had even told Sehyoon, ’I dated to experiment, not out of love really’

He had nothing.

So he came up with the best solution he could think of. He closed his eyes.

The room was dark so he knew the older would not be able to see his facial expressions, making it easier for him to pretend to have fallen asleep. It was reasonable, he could pass it off as sleep talking.

Sehyoon lifted himself up and moved closer to Byeongkwan’s face. The younger felt like he was going to die. It was all too much, too much at once and he wanted to run away as far as possible. Screw being an idol, he just wanted Sehyoon to not hate him, or see him.

“A-are you up?” whispered Sehyoon

Never had Byeongkwan been so affected by that voice. It was low and feeble, like he would destroy the room if he spoke too loud. He turned his head to the side slowly, it was overwhelming to know that Sehyoon’s face was right above his, their eyes probably aligned.

“You up?” , he paused, “ Please tell me you’re awake” 

It sounded like he wanted relief from some unknown pain.

The younger couldn’t hear anymore of that torn up way in which he uttered those words. They were too desperate. His heart was breaking and his mind had yet to come up with a good plan to evade the situation.

Byeongkwan nodded.

“You’re awake?” asked Sehyoon, a little louder.

He nodded again, just to make him stop talking that way

The black haired boy immediately got away from the other like he had been attacked and sat on the side. The side where Byeongkwan's head happened to be facing.

Byeongkwan curled up on himself and put his hand over his eyes, he didn’t want to deal with this in the early morning when even the sun refused to rise. Heck, he wouldn’t have been able to deal with this at any time of the day, or year, or decade.

“Kwan talk to me” pleaded Sehyoon.

He opened his eyes but he could see nothing with his hands covering them.

“Please, just please talk to me”

The younger turned around, letting down his poorly made act of sleeping and got up. He clutched his bag and started to head out, head held low. He could hear footsteps following him but he focused on his need to run away before Sehyoon caught him. 

As his hand stretched to reach the door handle, he felt Sehyoon’s hand on his shoulder.

He stopped and stared at his feet, which he could now see blearily in the darkness. 

“Did you-” started Sehyoon

“Please forget what I said”

A silence settled.

“You said…….you said-”

“Don’t say it” Byeongkwan whispered, the impending tears evidenced by the choke in his voice.

“I heard it-” 

“Forget about it please, I was sleep talking, I was confused, I didn’t know what was going on. Th-the practice went on for long and I’m tired  
so I can’t think straight, I just need you to forget okay?”

Sehyoon’s hand gripped Byeongkwan’s shoulder tightly. The older’s head dropped onto his chest. He didn’t want to forget a second of those words. 

He wanted to remember the softness his voice carried, the utter honesty in those three little words.

The confession had been grandiose in Sehyoon’s imaginations. Sure, he didn’t know who would say it first, but it was supposed to have been special. Probably in the sun, surrounded by flowers and beauty. That’s what Byeongkwan deserved. 

This was unexpected but the simple words had set his heart on fire and made his breath hitch.

“I don’t want to forget” told Sehyoon

He heard the sobs. Byeongkwan let out a strangled noise when he tried to breathe in some air.

“I am..I am so-uh-so- sorry” said the younger in between sniffles. Sehyoon’s hands reached up quickly and cupped Byeongkwan’s face, wiping away the tears. Byeongkwan looked up at the other, trying to see into Sehyoon's barely visible eyes. 

He turned away quickly and pulled himself back towards the door. Sehyoon caught his wrists and stopped his advances.

“Don’t go!” said he

“Sehyoon don’t do this, just let me go”

Byeongkwan did not even attempt to free himself of the older’s hold. It was warm and steadying, it was exactly what he needed. He hated himself for wanting Sehyoon even at such a taxing time.

“Kwan. Kwan listen to me”

The tears were unstoppable. Byeongkwan felt hysterical with the sobs he let out and the continuous trembling in his shoulders.

“I….I feel the same. I don’t want to forget that” was all Sehyoon said. That was all he could offer at that moment.

The younger boy did not want to hear it anymore, happiness overwhelmed him but the feelings of sadness lagged behind in his mind. 'This must be a dream', he thought. The sun was yet to rise and he was tired after hours of practice(of life). Maybe this was his mind’s way of coping. 

Human minds could be cruel.

His voice was gone but he had to do something to stop Sehyoon from breaking him

“Don’t say anything you don’t mean, please have some mercy-”

“I love you”

“Don’t say anything you don’t me-”

“I love you”

“Sehyoon don’t do this to-”

“I love you. I do”

A smile made it’s way to Sehyoon’s lips, but he felt tears trickling down his face. The two cried together, Byeongkwan turned back around  
around, his hand traveled up to Sehyoon’s face to wipe away the tears. They leaned into each other and their foreheads touched, hands cupping each other’s faces.

“Sehyoon, don’t say such things just like that” said Byeongkwan, voice hoarse.

“I love you. I am saying it because I love you”

Byeongkwan cried more, what else could he do?

For years, he bottled it up, his mind crushing itself every time he got too close to the other. But now, the boy whom he held so close to his heart, said he loved him.

Love

“I love you” said Sehyoon, smiling

“Stop it”

“I love you”

“Sehyoon”

“I love you so much”

“Hyung”

“I love your smile, I love the way you just, start moving when there’s music. I love how you get lost in songs. How you", he paused, "how you complain about all the books we have to read, how you take your time to talk to everyone when they seem down. I love your strength, I love your eyes, your laugh, your heart, your everything”

“I don’t- you don’t need to-”

“But I want to”

And Byeongkwan swears he heard heaven’s bells ring.

The tears had stopped and they clung to each other in the cold and empty room.

It could have been the sun, or it could’ve been Sehyoon’s words, but the room had grown brighter. 

No words were exchanged, they just held each other.

That was enough.

**Author's Note:**

> Aaaaaaaand done!
> 
> I've never had a crush, much less been in love or had a relationship. Sorry if love doesn't work this way;_;. All the knowledge I have about love come from books and fanfics I've read.
> 
> I wonder what my English profs would think if they know I'm using the knowledge they gave me in writing gay fanfics? Two would encourage me, one would kick me outta class because they a homophobic, transphobic ass. 
> 
> Advice: Just because someone has a Ph.D, they're not always right. You can most definitely have things to learn at any point in life from anyone. That doesn't mean you discredit everyone who is at a higher standing than you. Learn from everyone and present your opinions in a constructive manner. Doesn't matter if the other person gets pissed and unprofessional, you should stay calm because doing just that would make you a ten times better person.


End file.
